Judging Amy: My Response to “Ask Amy”

I know there was a show called that. But that isn’t what I’m writing about today. I read an article recently entitled:

“The Most Amazing ‘Ask Amy’ Response You’ll Ever Read” @ http://tinyurl.com/A-DAarticle

The comments were just about 97% in favour of getting the noose out and stringing up the “horrible sad sister” who wrote in for the advice. Only a couple of us commenters had a differing view. Of course we were instantly re-classified as Trolls for disagreeing with the masses. I read the article differently than most obviously because I immediately wondered why Wendy would want to be included, how she felt she would fit in, why she would want to fit in. See, my brother is the polar opposite of me. Yuppie, Conservative Christian and a Republican to boot. I wouldn’t fit in any more with his group of friends than he would with mine. If he judges me I just shake it off because he’s got a right to how he feels.  Family doesn’t mean siblings have to walk the same path, or be joined at the hip, or even hang out. Family will love you despite their or your failings, belief system, religion, or lack thereof, because real family can’t turn each other away. My brother has helped me so much. Whenever I have been in need he’s there. But I know him, and I know how different we are (not a good vs bad difference). I’d never want to hang out with my brother’s friends, and visa-versa. we fight, make up and I am 100% sure my brother loves me, but I don’t need his approval, his lifestyle advice or to adopt his beliefs. I just need to know he loves me. And I do.

So while I see how this situation can hurt both Wendy who feels unwanted and her sister who feel misunderstood, my real problem is with Amy Dickinson aka “Ask Amy” and her response in this matter. Once I got past the sad sister’s question into the response I really felt that “Ask Amy” seemed awfully “judge-y”. She didn’t know Wendy or details of the two sister’s past relationship so in a way she did a dis-service to all her readers by not suggesting communication and reaffirmation of the sisters love for one another. After all they say with love and communication everything is possible.

I’m not what you would call religious, spiritual yes. But in the past I did my fair share of bible study and if you want to talk true Christianity which is all about loving your fellow human, then we can. Look at what “Ask Amy” wrote, and think about what she could have written.

In one of my comments, I made a statement that wasn’t very well received but I’m not a “Best selling author, nationally syndicated advice columnist or an NPR contributor”. I’m just person who believes advising and being judgmental are two different things. I commented:

“It will be the “pot stirrers” like this columnist in end times who’ll preach Shame, Hatred and Judgement of each other who will turn brother against sister, etc. You won’t find me blindly following that. Will you be?”

Pretty dramatic statement and harsh, I know.  But honestly, as a writer myself, and a Christian (not to mention an adult) reading Ask Amy’s advice, er reply I had inner alarms going off inside. Isn’t this an advice column? I just don’t see that in Ask Amy’s response. What I see is an immature and mostly baseless inference (due to the lack of real details, history and both sides of the story) from the pen of someone who seems alright with proliferating the tension and drama between others.

Think about it…

For an online publication (https://aplus.com) that has a slogan of “Positive Journalism” Ask Amy’s advice that began with, “First, let’s establish that I agree with your sister: You are a horrible person.” wasn’t as much advice, (or positive) as it was a public lynching with the commenters carrying her torch.

lynchmob

EOT

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